We all know that our environment is in serious trouble and that pollution is destroying the air; sea levels are rising; species are becoming extinct; there are elevated levels of greenhouses gases amoung us; etcetera, etcetera. So, where are scientists in Sydney, Australia searching for solutions to help save our environment and prevent global warming? The buttocks of a kangaroo, thats where.
Apparently, kangaroos have special bacteria in their stomachs. They do not have the harmful methane that cattle and sheep exude when they let off their bombs. Scientists want to transfer this "special" bacteria into the stomachs of cattle and sheep since they emit such large quantities of the bad (and likely extremely raunchy) stuff. But this will take at least 3 years for scientists to commence this little disturbing project.
What I would like to know is how in the name of precious humanity did these Aussies get the idea to inspect kangaroo farts? "Eih there Bill, lets check out this bloated kangaroo to discover if his gasious outputs will help prevent global warming". "Crykey! I think we've got somethen hare! Help me tie em down thare mate!"
And how did these brilliant and educated scientists find this "helpful" information out? Did they stand behind a kangaroo until he let one rip and then bottled up the smell? Or maybe they went smelling the fieces on various kangaroo farms? Or maybe it is indeed what Bill and his friend did...they tied him down after going for their regular kangaroo fart-smelling excursion and captured the fart in its tracks.
Why the kangaroo? Why stop there? Why not lions, tigers, or bears? I bet they have just as useful farts as kangaroos. I mean, why wouldn't they? They're usually in good shape, I'm sure their farts are too. How about penguins? No? I bet its too cold for those geeky, climate-challenged scientists to research those farts. Especially if they're living in warm-climated Austrailia. Sorry Penny Penguin, your farts will never be of use to us.
If kangaroo farts could...dare I say it -- save the world; why don't we all just have them as pets? That way every time we start the car or rev up the engine, we'll just grab our pet and have him cut the cheese as a trade-off.
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